The Anchor Within: How To Build Safety You Don’t Have to Outsource
Why Safety Matters
Think of a tree. Its roots run deep underground, unseen, but that’s what lets it grow tall, stable, and expansive. Without those roots, the first storm would rip it right out of the soil.
You are the same.
Without internal roots, a felt sense of safety inside yourself, you’ll cling to whatever looks solid outside you: a partner’s approval, a job title, constant busyness. You’ll hope those things will keep you steady… but when they shift (and they always do), you feel shaken, anxious, or like you’ve lost yourself.
True safety doesn’t come from clinging. It comes from knowing: I’ve got me, no matter what.
What Safety Really Is
When we’re little, we run off to play, climbing, exploring, discovering, but we always circle back to our parent. That touchpoint gives us courage. We don’t need them hovering or holding our hand every second. We just need to know they’re there. Solid. Safe. A place we can return to.
That’s exactly what inner safety is as an adult.
It’s becoming your own safe place to turn to. Your own steady ground.
And it doesn’t come from control, perfection, or other people’s reassurance. Real safety is:
Sitting with your emotions instead of outsourcing calm to someone else.
Coming back to your breath when overwhelm creeps in, instead of numbing with work, food, or distractions.
Trusting you can hold yourself through the messy, uncomfortable parts of life.
It’s the difference between living at the mercy of others… and living anchored in yourself.
How to Create Safety
Safety is built in small, repeatable moments. You don’t wait for it to “appear”, you create it.
Try this:
Anchor in your body: Hand on your chest, deep breath. Whisper, “I’m here with you. I’ve got me.”
Hold space for emotions: Instead of fixing or running, sit with the feeling like you’d sit with a child who needs comfort.
Self-validate: Say, “My feelings are valid. They matter. Because I matter.”
Micro-rituals: Rocking while hugging yourself, walking barefoot, moving with the feel of your body, anything that signals to your body, you’re safe to just be here.
Every time you do this, your roots grow deeper.
What if you had this safety?
You’d stop clinging to people or achievements for worth. You’d feel calm even when life felt uncertain. You’d take bigger risks because failure wouldn’t unravel you. You’d speak your truth instead of shrinking for approval.
And what if you don’t?
Then you’ll keep outsourcing safety to others, waiting for their reassurance, their validation, their presence, and living fragile, always at risk of crumbling the moment it’s withdrawn.
Next Steps
This is why Safety is the very first module in my Feminine Communication Workshop.
Because before you can speak your truth, set boundaries, or stand in feminine power, you need the inner roots that keep you safe being fully yourself.
Inside, I’ll guide you through the exact practices to stop clinging and start anchoring into your own body and truth.
